My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
