The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
