Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
nutella sex= disaster
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
