you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
