you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
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