dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
babies were throwing up all over the place
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize