we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
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I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
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we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
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