Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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