I wanna bring you to show and tell
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I will be naked everywhere
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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