best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
