I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
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