Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I want to be your penis for a week.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
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