sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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