Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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