hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
