He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
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