We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize