yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Randomize
