My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
