guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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