i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
