nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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