this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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