Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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