it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
