Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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