Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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