Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
