Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
