just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
he quoted the bible to break up with me
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
We're too hungover to prance.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Randomize
