I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
So squirting runs in the family.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
