It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
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im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
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struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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