Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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