Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
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He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
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Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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