It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
