I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
