thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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