So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
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