member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
