two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
