gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
