Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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