Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
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