I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
