Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did angry sex become our thing?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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