It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
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he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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