Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
