I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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