like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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