Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
