I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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