I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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