I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
