You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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