D3 body, D1 cock
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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