FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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