wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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