New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
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the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
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He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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