I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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